Well, it’s good to see that my tax money is being spent to help fat people that don’t know how to stay fit take small steps toward being healthier. Did you know your tax money was going into a nutrition website? Take a look at the front page of it, too… it talks about how many calories ‘moderate housework’ burns. Yikes. ‘Avoid laborsaving devices’ is one of the ‘small steps’ listed. What, you mean like computers? Here’s one that outdoes all of them: walk to the gym, eating an apple. Oh, look, I did something that works better and takes up less resources than the government. Surprised? I’m not.
Some objectionable ‘small steps’:
7. Eat half your dessert. (or try skipping the nightly Banana Split, fatty.)
10. Skate to work instead of driving. (they won’t let me rollerblade on the freeway because it’s hazardous to my health)
18. Drink diet soda. (how about skipping soda altogether?)
24. Skip seconds. / 88. Don’t take seconds. (but we get seconds on the rule?)
30. Ask your doctor about taking a multi-vitamin. (studies have shown that asking your doctor things burns up to a calorie a minute … just be sure to not actually take that multivitamin…)
48. Keep to a regular eating schedule. (as long as it’s based on when you’re hungry, not just the clock)
78. Eat before you get too hungry. (yeah, watch that clock, eat when it says to, not when your body tells you to…)
79. Don’t skip breakfast. (but make sure it’s not a donut or other icky sweet thing)
80. Stop eating when you are full. (um, come on, people… does the GOVERNMENT HAVE TO TELL YOU TO DO THIS? listen to your mom.)
89. Try your burger with just lettuce, tomato and onion. (how about skip the burger?)
Some good ‘small steps’:
1. Walk to work.
2. Use fat free milk over whole milk.
6. Eat leaner red meat & poultry.
8. Walk instead of driving whenever you can.
9. Take family walk after dinner.
11. Avoid food portions larger than your fist.
12. Mow lawn with push mower.
13. Increase the fiber in your diet.
14. Walk to your place of worship instead of driving.
15. Walk kids to school.
16. Get a dog and walk it.
31. Go for a half-hour walk instead of watching TV.
43. Park further from the store and walk.
44. Ask a friend to exercise with you.
45. Make time in your day for physical activity.
54. Play with your kids 30 minutes a day. (or more, god forbid…)
62. Explore new physical activities. (safely…)
63. Vary your activities, for interest and to broaden the range of benefits.
64. Reward and acknowledge your efforts.
65. Choose fruit for dessert.
90. Try a green salad instead of fries.
91. Bake or broil fish.
I think that does it for my rip on the government this morning…
