scottsimpson.net

shoes and magical thinking

The Washington Post reports that thousands of shoes 'inexplicably materialized' on a freeway. I'd love to see the video of that. Presumably there is video that shows bare pavement and then the mysterious materialization of shoes on said pavement, like a transporter beam in Star Trek. Or maybe we have the first attack of magical thinking in 2009. 

"There were no signs of a crash, and no one claimed them," reports the Post, apparently not realizing that a shipper that lost a load like that would probably rather take the loss than face the fine and inevitable environmental lawsuit related to spilling footwear on the freeway. 

Things don't 'materialize' unless Scotty is working the lever in the transporter room. They were probably dropped by a truck, which either didn't notice or decided to get the heck out of there before they faced a fine, and then motorists noticed them because of the thumping as they drove. Nothing magical there. The only magic that comes out of this is the magic of charity -- the shoes are being donated by the city to a charity which distributes shoes to people who need them.

classy

Fox News reports that ex-VP hopeful Sarah Palin's daughter and the man who got her pregnant are "working their butts off", contrary to reports that they were high school dropouts and drug fiends (never mind those pesky police reports and hard, tangible evidence). I'm pretty sure I'd be a little irritated if either of my parents went to the media discussing my 'butt' or saying anything like that in the Minnesota accent that we all love so much. "Gosh, I tell you what, he's just working his little tush off, oh yeah, maverick Russia."

It appears that class and propriety are hopelessly lost on people like her. "Working very hard" is a perfectly good phrase. But no, it's not folksy enough. Ugh.

Farewell, Apple Fritter

A new year is a time for new beginnings -- for promises to oneself and for resolutions, most of which will be broken, but a few of which will stick (at least through March). Usually they center around going to a gym, saving money, being kinder, and all kinds of other things that you really shouldn't have to put down on paper and which you should feel at least a little guilty about not doing in the first place.

I'll start with a listing of what I'm proud of from 2008:

• I lost 47 pounds with a combination of running and eating more sensibly. I began in February with freezing, boring walks and peaked in July with three-mile runs around Balboa Park. I went from a 38 waist to around 32. This forced me to buy new clothes. All in all, it's a good thing, and I'm happy about it. I'm sure you all are sick of hearing about it, so I'll try to mention it less in conversation.
   
• Barack Obama won the Presidency! I had very little to do with this, really, aside from putting a sticker on my PowerBook and voting for the man. And that's not to say that Hillary would have been a poor choice either. The moral of the story is that the people who call themselves the Republican Party (neo-con liars) are out of power for the time being. Maybe now the world will respect us as a nation again. They understand that there are shades of association other than "with us" and "again' us"
   

2008 has also brought about things which I am genuinely afraid of:

• The US Military gearing up to deploy troops and checkpoints INSIDE our borders. 
   
• A continuing rise of anti-intellectualism and mysticism over rationality and reason. Sarah Palin was an excellent example of this -- "Yeah, she appears to be corrupt, shoots moose from her helicopter, thinks Jesus rode dinosaurs, and doesn't even have the moral respect of her daughter, but ah-tell-yew-whut, she's the kind of vice president I could have a beer with! And that's what matters! She's just like me, and a blue-collar Evangelist is exactly the kind of material that makes a great world leader!"
   

This brings me to my resolutions. In 2009, I will try my best to:

• Give up my traditional delicious morning Apple Fritter (thereby avoiding approximately 135,000 calories and 8.1kg of fat, assuming I typically eat 300 of them per year. Which seems reasonable.) I'll be aiming toward less-unhealthy options, like low-fat muffins or fruit and yogurt. Now, about this Starbucks tattoo...
   
• Read more. I have an insane amount of books that I haven't read yet, and I need to read them. I will strive to make more time for this.
   
• Go to sleep at a reasonable hour. Throughout the Spring and Summer of last year, I had this one down, but I've slipped. It's important, and I felt noticeably better when I had a reasonable and predictable sleep pattern.
   
• Continue going to the gym. I've noticed improved muscle tone in the few weeks that I've been going, and I think that's a good thing. It's criminally cheap, insanely close, and unbelievably better than I thought it would be. Also, I get to ride my nifty bike.
   
• Actively learn new things. Programming languages, skills, trivia, other interesting things. 
   
• Be more social. Not to be some kind of little social butterfly, but to at least attempt to be less un-social. Maybe go out with friends every other week or so. We'll see how this goes.
   
• Be more vocal against the things that I want to see removed from society: irrationality, anti-intellectualism, mysticism and magical thinking, unequal rights, stupidly pervasive illiterate grammar mistakes that should have been eradicated in the third grade (we don't 'loose' our keys in the parking lot unless we, with the might of Hercules, fling them at our enemies. And even then, we should probably say "I hath loos'd mine keys at yon Opponent" to sound a touch more poetic.), political correctness, agreeing to disagree, the blatant lack of civility in our culture, and others besides.
   
• Keep my living space cleaner. My room, which lies half sunk like the shatter'd visage of OZYMANDIAS, King of Kings, tends to be a magnet for chaos and disorganization. It's a combination of needing to organize and throw out piles of stuff I haven't used in years.