The Terrorist Soccer Mom, and other Phenomena of the Modern Age
A Japanese man flying to Ohio was arrested after he was seen writing down the words “suicide bomb,” but he was released without charge after explaining that it was an impromptu English exercise.
The 60-year-old man told investigators he came across the words in a newspaper and wanted to look up their meaning, police spokeswoman Alice Casanova said.
…the man was taken into custody and all of the other 120 passengers were taken off the plane and rescreened. Investigators also searched the plane. (read more)
This is getting ridiculous. With the current state of affairs, I could build a case to get almost anyone arrested on suspicion of terrorism. I could sort of understand if the guy were twenty, and Middle Eastern, and reading the Koran in Arabic and muttering to himself and smelled of fertilizer. But an old Japanese guy? Come on. He was going to Ohio for cripe’s sake.
Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge announced Sunday that the color-coded alert level for terror threats in [banking] areas would move from yellow, or elevated, to orange, or high. (read more)
You know, the Terrorists are really on top of things. Wasn’t it nice of them to plan a major attack right on the heels of the Democratic National Convention? And it’s just in time to get mopped up by the Republican National Convention. Hm. Terrorists are really good at this whole ‘nonspecific information’ thing too… They seem to only give us just enough information to spook the news junkies and tin-foil-hat people but not enough to satisfy the normal thinking citizen…
Witness the following fictional but probably realistic conversation between Tom Ridge (aww, he only makes $175K… everyone get out your violins now…) and myself in the halls of the Ministry of Peace… Er, Homeland Security:
Ridge: “They’re gonna strike a financial institution.”
Me: “Um, when?”
Ridge: “No idea”
Me: “Well, then, which one?”
Ridge: “Haven’t the foggiest”
Me: “Any idea which city at least? Which state?”
Ridge “Nope”
Me: “Where’d you get this information?”
Ridge: “Some Pakistani guy”
Me: “Where was this Pakistani guy?”
Ridge: “Islamabad” [tongues at something in his teeth]
Me: “Islamabad Deli on 4th?”
Ridge [still going after something in his teeth]: “Maybe”
I haven’t graduated from College yet, but still I could predict these things better than the information we seem to have. This leads me to the conclusion:
Of course the Terrorists (just in from their quarterly off-site in Atlanta) would strike a financial institution. That was that goal with the first attack, and it’s the most effective way to cripple or injure a capitalist society. In the words of an eight-year-old, ‘duh’.
If I were a terrorist [note to ECHELON and CARNIVORE: I am not a terrorist. I am an Eagle Scout] I’d personally go after the power infrastructure. It’s shaky at best [remember the crazy outage in the Northeast and the Great Western Blackout?] and if you take out one or two plants, the grid couldn’t accomodate the change fast enough. Want to go for extra Fear-Factor(TM)? Go after a Fission plant. That should scar the psyche of the Unwashed Masses long enough to deplete the Middle East and Russia’s oil supply.
My second target as a terrorist (still under above disclaimer) would be to attack the communications infrastructure. America is based heavily on inane cellphone and internet chatter, and when Timmy can’t IM or call Marilyn in Tampa, all sorts of bad things could happen. It’s been shown that the internet (no capital letter!) is in, as they say in Marin County, a very fragile place right now until BIND and DNS and such can be strengthened and updated. If you can take down Google, you can take down anyone. And taking down significant routers and backbones of the internet have the added advantage of throwing a monkey in the gears of international finance and commerce. Our society is driven by electrons and photons. I propose we declare war on grounding straps and darkness. This War on Basic Physical Principles should fall right in line with the beliefs of the current Administration.
I digress.
Dammit, my coffee is cold. And it was so yummy, too.
This weekend held my birthday (22!) and I got to see a bunch of family and some friends that I haven’t seen in a while. I wish I had more time to visit them before I leave for San Diego (Saturday!). I’d like to try to make an effort this year to write a letter every two weeks at most to someone. Grandparents are at the top of the list.
You know, that soccer mom across the room seems a little *too* into the Oprah magazine. And her dress looks a little unkempt. And she’s not talking to anyone. ‘Scuse me, I need to call the police…
