Sin ‘n vice ‘n everything nice
While it would make for an interestingly progressive campaign, Ferrero USA, distributor of the tasty hazelnut-chocolate spread Nutella didn’t renew their advertising contract with Kobe Bryant. Some slogans that might have ensued:
um, that’s all I’m going to put down here.
People need to realize that you can’t copy Apple without looking like a moron. It’s a double edged sword: Applehaters mock you for being like ‘that fruity wannabe company’ and people with a brain realize that you’re completely unoriginal. BuyMusic doesn’t seem to understand this. How ironic is it that a company established to stem the tide of music piracy is infringing on the copyrights and intellectual property of another similar company?
Well, they say sex sells and it must, because Kobe Bryant got two mentions in my blog. According to the owner of the Mavericks (I think that’s a basketball group) Mr. Bryant’s current predicament is good for the NBA. How sick are Americans anyway? This is why people bomb us, not because we ‘have freedom’ or some other inane cowfarmer midwest rationale. Hell, I’d bomb us. At least the producers of trash media. Just kidding, ECHELON and CARNIVORE, you can take me out of your database now, I’m not a terrorist. I’m too lazy to be a terrorist. That’s why I just write about stuff. Plus, if I went after the trash media, there’d be nothing to watch on TV. And then, horror of horrors, we might have to think, or produce quality media, or … or… read books!
On the upside, Linux got certified by the Guv’ment as a secure platform. This on the heels of inking a multimillion dollar with Microsoft. Your tax dollars hard at work. Now we get to look forward to platform incompatibility and crazy licensing costs as the Men in Black try to justify their Microsoft contract while using secure Linux servers. Think. THINK!
Google’s Zeitgeist is often something kind of interesting to look at. Zeitgeist, or ‘time-ghost’ in German, is a reflection of an era or period of time, sort of like a mood, or mode, or median or something. Kind of, you know, like a zeitgeist.
Someone needs to explain to me these Flash ads… Do IT professionals really buy Cisco routers because of terrible intrusive advertising? How many people actually use Orbitz because of their damn ads? I quit using them because of it. That and because they took me through Dallas and St. Louis to get from Oakland to Indianapolis. Why not a stopover in London and Moscow while we’re at it? ‘Welcome aboard the flight from Oakland to San Diego… We’ll be reaching our final destination in a few days, after transfers in Prague, Islamabad, Beijing, Mexico City, and Johannesburg.’
One thing I noticed while in Tahoe for my 21st birthday was that slot machines are beginning to look a lot more like those sad game-toys they sell on the impulse rack at WalMart. Call me old fashioned (go ahead, its ok — I use a fountain pen), but if you’re just going to play a computerized game with credits and a button, you might as well just put $20 in a machine, get 80 cents change, and walk away. At least with a one-armed bandit (see, they’re employing the Disabled) you have some semblance of control, what with that one arm and all. But pressing a button to trigger a pseudo-random sequence just doesn’t have the same thrill. And what’s with the credits? (channeling Jerry Seinfield here… sorry) Isn’t a big part of the thrill of gambling hearing the money fall out of the slot? 75 cents! Woo!
Morons seem to abound in the gambling world as well: “You always figure they’re going to try to get away with something at the blackjack table or on the video poker machines, but rigging a bingo game?” asked Frank Cilletti, a retired security expert who worked with several Las Vegas casinos. “The payout just isn’t that big on bingo. It’s sort of a waste of criminal talent, actually.” Yeah. The guy rigged a bingo system. Max payout: $2000. Then he killed himself. Such stable people society produces these days. That’s one of the things that bothers me about crime. People do stupid things with it. Why steal a Taurus when you could have twelve import sportscars? If you’re going to do something illegal, at least make it worthwhile! Who wants to be in prison, talking about how they grabbed an old lady’s purse? Isn’t it so much cooler to have drilled into the Bank of America vaults in the dead of night with all kinds of cool toys? Don’t steal a CD… steal a CD company. Make a splash!
