scottsimpson.net

yes.

So today entails rebuilding my compter and doing laundry. wish me luck.

Linda Black must be the best paid lazy-ass on the planet. All she has to do is write out some formulaic drivel every day and get paid (kind of like a blog, without the pay part). Hell, anyone can do it. Just follow these simple steps, numbered by sentence:
1 - random number to illustrate ‘how your day will be’. Choose an integer between 1 and 9. Choose 0 to prompt people to end their lives.
2 - Vague restatement of common sense, e.g. ‘Wise ways with money will profit you in the end’, ‘Caution when crossing streets is the order of the day’
3 - Veiled reference to astrology and your life, e.g. ‘Scorpio burns your candle brighter’, ‘Mars in Aquarius centers you’
4 - Useless untrue statement, e.g. ‘Children bring a welcome respite’, ‘Trees make great pillows’

So I picked up an old Mac G3 tower at a computer sale. It runs at 350MHz. It does most things faster than my wintel box at 1.47GHz. Go figure. Have I mentioned how I want a PowerBook? I think I may have.

So I’m standing here next to a thermal poster printer making up signs to warn people about last week’s demon worm, W32/Blaster. It makes me wonder… why do people create virii? Sure, OK, there’s the proof-of-concept argument, but does it really help to prove a concept everyone admits to knowing about and knowing that it works? What’s the deal with virii without payloads? What’s the deal with virii with payloads? What possible reason could someone have for wanting to trash thousands of computers? Sure, maybe the Amish, but then they’d be sinning anyway writing the software.

I’ve rearranged my room again, with much help from Michael. Pictures will be posted shortly. First, I need to move the piles of cardboard adorning my floor.

My new computer case should be in today, which is a nice thing. I’m dying to format my drive and restart. Die, Windows, die. The more I use Michael’s new iBook, the more I can’t wait to get a machine that is both a mac and a notebook. Once you go mac, you never go back. In other news, I might be getting an old G3 tower from AS (junk sale). It should be fun to play with.

OK, so I kind of forgot I have a blog. I’ve been busy, ok?

I’ve decided Windows is self-aware. It senses I’m leaving it for Apple, and it’s getting jealous.

People are starting to move in, which is pretty cool. I’m not all alone in this huge building anymore. Which is good. Maybe they can share my new Wireless-G hotspot that I set up. Also my new stylish case for the computer should be here soon. Much to the delight of my lady friends.

I’ve decided to start posting photos here. If I remember. Today’s is a dusk view out my window. The other window looks at a wall, so I’ll be skipping that view.

Rumor has it that Apple will be releasing a new 15″ PowerBook next week. Let’s hope they’re right. I don’t know how much longer I can wait.

Song of the day: Creed - With Arms Wide Open

So… I can’t stand reality television. OK, news is an exception. But overall, I can’t stand the stuff. What’s even worse than our nascent reality fetish (if you want reality… go outside instead of watching television…) is that now the tables have turned and we’re living in a television reality. Look at the California Governor’s race. Actors, comedians, commentators all, with few exceptions. Take Larry Flynt for example. At least he’s got a built-in Lieutenant… the porn star that’s also running. As a citizen of California, I feel it is my duty to keep the Terminator, a stupid-looking child actor, a watermelon-smashing comedian, a weed-legalization lawyer, a porn magnate, a porn star, a cigarette lobbyist (and he’s a Libertarian too… the humanity!) or any of the Natural Law weirdos from taking over the Governor’s office. I’m voting for Bustamante. I don’t care if he believes in what I believe in. I met him once and he seems alright. And he’s the only person running that has even a whiff of a clue of what’s going on at 1700 L Street. He’s a logical choice because he’s been opposed to much of what Gray Davis has done, and this is Gray’s party, so let’s elect the guy that we should, by all logical right, be supporting.

Anyway…

I started my new job here in San Diego. I have a mac (iMac G3 400MHz), which is cool. But there’s these little sounds that I can’t really figure out what they do… especially the little *whoosh* sound. But overall, it’s neat. Good practice for when I get my Powerbook. Which should be soon. I hope. If Apple decides to release the upgraded 15″ model. Which is overdue. Yeah.

I just checked my Lottery Ticket. Didn’t win. Big surprise. I figured I was on a winning streak… I won $3 last go-round. That bought me another ticket. So see, I technically didn’t waste money. Technically.

So the University’s telecom management system is down. How can a system like that be down? Someone needs to buy a new one. They’re phones, people, they shouldn’t crash. Unless Microsoft got hold of them, and then that’s a different story.

Song of the day: something techno streamed from iTunes =)

I’d like to start this entry with a link. It’s no ordinary link, though it may look as such. What makes it special? Well, click on it and find out. NO! Wait! Shift-click on it so my window doesn’t go away. Thanks. We’ll wait. …. Talk amongst yourselves…. alright. For those of you who read the whole paragraph around a link before you click it (kudos!), the above is a tidily concise and pleasant conservative critique of some liberal ranting. Though it’s good, I take a few exceptions:

As I walked into the dermatologist’s office, I nonchalantly tossed my gum wrapper in the trash can. And then I couldn’t figure out why everyone was looking at me kind of weird. I had thrown my wrapper in the magazine bin. That means it’s time to organize the thing. The wait was long, but bearable. It kind of makes me feel all special when I read US News from a few weeks ago, because it’s like I know the future. I got a kick out of the article hedging around the prediction that Arnold was running for governor. But those issues of Modern Woman… I haven’t seen any modern women that look like the ones in that magazine. (I got bored, okay?) And no one should read Fast Company. Their cover story was about how Word of Mouth advertising was essential. They actually paid someone to write thousands of words about something that everyone knows already. (No, Fast Company isn’t about keeping an audience with low women… it’s an allegedly progressive and supposedly insightful business rag)

I love Starbucks. Some of you might not have noticed. They sell Chicken Asian Noodle Salad. Which is pretty tasty… I’d give it an 8. What really gets me is the chicken in the little hermetically sealed plastic bag. What is this for, vegetarians? If you don’t like the Chicken Asian Noodle Salad, don’t buy the Chicken Asian Noodle Salad. Get the Garden Trimmings Salad or something vegan. Anyway, the little bag thing is ridiculously hard to open… I ended up having to lance it with my keys. The salad is labled ‘13.3 OZ (377g)’. Would it have been so hard to add another thing of chicken or another pea pod to round one of those out? It can’t be that nutritionally balanced. Oh yeah, one more thing.. it’s “microwarmable”

As some people may remember, I like making fun of stupid people and things. This article about disabled accessibility lawsuits is great fodder for such things. This crazy guy that’s in charge of the ADA in Oakland claims that 100% of places should be 100% accessible to people with disabilities. But his logic hasn’t caught up with him yet. Sure, wheelchair-bound people (radially-enabled chair-enabled individuals) could reach things up to a certain height. But what of tall persons (the vertically enhanced among us) with, say, a bad back or fused vertebrae or bad hips or whatever that can’t bend down to get something at wheelchair level? And don’t say that’s an exception case. I know I’m inconvenienced when I have to deal with ridiculously huge doors and other such ADA-compliant (inconvenience-enabled?) things. But I’m ‘abled’ and male and white, so I’ve come to not expect any sort of legal protection anymore. My point is this: if a business does not choose to have eight foot aisles or two-meter doors or expensive ugly ramps, that’s their choice. They’ll lose some customers, sure… but that’s business. Know why I don’t shop at American Eagle in Sunvalley? The clothes are too close together. I’m not complaining about discrimination. It’s my choice. Simple as that. It causes me great ire to hear that people want to pave quaint country roads so the occasional (if ever) chair-bound visitor can experience them. What do we tell kids thirty years from now when they ask what a dirt road is? “Well, it’s what’s under this asphalt” But asphalt’s black, so we can’t walk all over that either.

So today’s my last day of work, and I’m staring at a VBScript thing on one side of my screen, and this blog editor window on the other. I’ve watched a bunch of music videos, but they seem to skip a little. The one for Jewel’s song Intuition is pretty neat.

Careful readers and consummate geeks will notice that in yesterday’s blog, I refer to XML tags. They’re not visible. That’s because MoveableType seems to want to render anything in the weird < > brackets. They’re there. Trust me.

I was reading an article on wired.com that referenced “a tort-reform law that offers blanket lawsuit protections to makers of antiterrorism devices, should those devices fail during a terrorist attack.” Isn’t that a little counter-productive? I should make shiny balls and sell them to the government and tell them that they’ll discourage terrorist attacks. What, they didn’t work? Oh well, I’m protected. Evidently the FBI and CIA share the same protection.

I’m about 40% packed for moving back to San Diego. It’s easier this time, and it seems to be going much faster. Maybe because half my stuff is at Lisa and Adelles But I’m trying to cut back on what I take, taking a cue from Michael and logic. I suppose I don’t really need 30 pairs of socks.

It took two hands to open the restroom door just now… I should get back to the gym. Or maybe I’ll just sue.

So it’s interesting to me (in a kind of sad way) that the people of Iraq are so distrustful of their media that they believe rumors that American GI’s have x-ray sunglasses and underwear-based personal cooling units. Students of Engineering are convinced that they have these devices, when simple logic would tell them they can’t possibly have them. If we had x-ray sunglasses, wouldn’t we have found Saddam by now, in addition to every cache of weapons? Or maybe they’re just good for looking under women’s clothes, which seems to be a rather unhealthy obsession among the Iraqi people. Still, hook me up. Claims abound that the US soldiers are giving away packets of sweets with pornography inside. I bet it’s called Candi. (I smell sex and … caaaandy) Maybe these kids should stay away from Marcy Playground and go to another one.

Guess what? I’m going to rant about politics. And I’m going to enclose it in XML tags because I’m a dork like that.

Arnold Schwarzenegger (or however his last name is spelled) should not be Governor. Neither should Arianna Huffington. Nor D.L. Hughley. Nor Larry Flynt. Well, not for too long. And Gary Coleman? Come on. Fallen child stars are bad enough as it is. And Leo Gallagher? Jesus H. Christ, California, where is your sense? Give me a race between Riordan and Feinstein. Then we’ll have to talk about real issues and make real decisions, not vote for who our favorite entertainer is. We already did that. California government is not an awards show.

Arnold should not be governor if he cites anything from a movie, especially the Terminator series. If he proves to be skilled at gubernatorial administration, he’s got a chance. If he’s any further right than a moderate conservative, he’s lost my vote. I’m kind of looking forward to hearing his position on things. Illegal aliens? Vhat? Aaliens? GET DOWN! I WILL SHOOOT THEM! Everyone makes mistakes, though being Kindergarten Cop doesn’t qualify one to make laws.

Arianna Huffington just sounds like a stripper name. She’s a political commentator (commentor?), and thus knows everything about everything until it comes to the actual application. Like a UC education. As they say, in theory there’s no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is.

While Cruz Bustamante is potentially committing political suicide, he’s still got my vote so far. I met him a while back, and he seemed tuned in to things that matter to me (e.g. student fees, and maintaining their low-ness)

I’m not quite sure if I want to see Larry Flynt get the governorship just because I want him to fail or because I think it would be funny to watch a wheelchair-bound professional pervert try to run a state. (”No, I’m all for women’s rights… and lefts… and fronts… and backs”) Try explaining to your kid how he can’t buy porn until he’s 18, but there’s a smutlord running his state. Smutlord, that’s a good word. Of course, smut is just a fun word. Smut smut smut. Looks funny, doesn’t it? And from on high, God smut the infidels. Or is it smote? Or smited? but I digress.

I’ve been halfway considering running for Governor. No, I don’t think I have a chance of winning, but I probably have just as much as any other Libertarian candidates. At least the ones that aren’t sitting at home polishing their guns muttering incoherently about the Man. Talk about a resume booster… ‘Gubernatorial Candidate, 2003′ Yeah, I haven’t finished my degree, and I have very little industry experience, but I ran for governor and got thirty votes. And those are just my friends that wanted to be jackasses and old people that marked the wrong box. I’d appear right next to Bill Simon if it wasn’t sorted by party. Talk about coattail campaigns.

I’d run on a platform of basic good and evil. “I support the aims of good, and denounce the ways of evil”, I’d comment at the news conference, “I think this state needs responsible, competent leadership, and if you find some, please be sure to tell me.” Look for a gubernatorial candidacy site in the near future, probably after I get back to San Diego.

Last year, I did this project for my Political Science class (if you can, take a class from Julie Sullivan. She’s awesome.) The assignment was to create a political advertisement or website. Guess what I picked. So I put Hef up for governor. Little did I know that I wasn’t far off. As my disclaimer says, the whole thing is a lie, so no one can sue me. Take a look at my stunning four hours of work. Most of that time was spent finding a picture of Hef that was big enough. I ended up scanning one out of Maxim, from some alcohol ad. How weird is it that I was going to make a site for Arnold for Governor, but couldn’t find a picture that worked?

In relevant news, we went to see Blue Man Group last night. They simply kick ass. I suggest everyone see the show. One of their opening acts, Venus Hum seems to be quite a neat group. They use PowerBooks. Check out the song Hummingbirds at Launch. It’s like … electronica with soul. ATC meets Aphex Twin meets some really good soulful diva. Sorry, I’m not up on my divas. I don’t track these people. I’m so buying the Venus Hum album though. Weird, huh? I actually do buy some music. And they walk that line between angsty and geeky and mainstream very well.

The other opening act for Blue Man Group was some lady named Tracy something that likes to assault violins. I don’t know if Adrian reads this, but I’m pretty sure violins weren’t meant to be played that way. She broke her bow. Rock stars break their guitars, but I haven’t ever heard of Rock Violin. Her voice was shrill. Maybe it was the sound balance, but I think it would be alright through studio editing. She reminded me of Yoko Ono or something. But not *as* bad.

The fact remains that Blue Man Group just rocks. What else can I say? Mute blue clowns pounding on garden pipe. Sounds stupid, but it’s not. Very not. I will not pay attention to the candy-ass sign on the right.

READY GO

Sly song reference of the day:

Irony does not mean simply, “things that suck.” For example, if it were to rain on your wedding day, that would suck, but it would not be ironic. A better example of irony would be to write a song with irony as its topic, and then to list a bunch of events that aren’t at all ironic. Don’t ya think?

-www.soyouwanna.com

Anyone see anything wrong with this sentence?

“Bill Simon surprised many when he defeated Republican moderate — and Bush favorite — Tom Riordan in the 2002 Republican gubernatorial primary. ” — thanks, CNN. Love the accuracy.

Song of the day: Venus Hum - Hummingbirds

The September 11 attacks may have an impact newborns. First of all, if you’re a news agency running a story, you should have your grammar correct. Second, has anyone thought that maybe, just maybe, the pollution that is allegedly causing these babies to be smaller came from, um, living in New York? I think it’s hilarious how we try to blame everything on September 11th. Thirty years down the road, we’ll be blaming our heart disease on it (see article), and of course it will have nothing to do with our ten-kilocalorie fast food or our completely sedentary lifestyle.

“…McDonald’s engaged in deceptive advertising, in part because it failed to adequately disclose additives and processing methods that make its food less healthful. ” (full article)
Is there something I’m missing here? Are there people out there that actually stand in the parking lot, McDonalds on one side, Souplantation on the other, and actually try to figure out which is healthier? It’s McDonald’s, people: a name that has, worldwide, become synonomous (I think I spelled that right) with cheap production line food. Now, if I went up to the counter, and asked the acne-ridden teenager there for a salad, hold the dressing, and a tub of water, I’d be surprised to find out that it had thirty kilograms of fat in it. But a Big Mac? Fries? Chicken McNuggets? None of them are made from anything remotely real. Chickens don’t have nuggets. Carl’s Jr. taught us that.

“Lawyers claim, for example, that some fast-food restaurants deliberately raise the temperature at which they cook their fries to increase the amount of fat absorbed.”, notes the above article. What could be more senseless? Why would a company do something to use up more of a product? Surely this fat they use is expensive… they’d try to minimize its use for cost reasons. And I’m sure McDonalds is out to get us all fat. I can just picture it: the CEO of McDonalds (is it that creepy clown-man?) sitting in his darkened office, henchmen lounging about, and he exclaims, “Well, boys, it’s like this, ya see… I’m gonna take us into the red this year in fat purchasing because I want to fatten up the world! Screw the profits, I’m adding extra fat to the fries!”

“Thanks in part to the publicity generated by the initial lawsuit against McDonald’s, ‘there has been a shift in perception,’ said Marion Nestle, chair of the Department of Nutrition and Food Studies at New York University, ‘from seeing obesity only as a personal or family responsibility to seeing it as a societal problem with societal solutions.’”, quips the previous link. Right. Obesity is not a societal problem, people. It’s a social problem. I know quite a few people who manage to get through life without accidentally gaining 300 pounds. I managed to do it without trying too hard (though, according to my BMI, I’m firmly in the ‘overweight’ category with my freakishly huge 33-inch waist). Before you yell at me for being insensitive, let me say that I’m not being insensitive. You’re being oversensitive. I know full well that there are genetic conditions and such that cause people to have a propensity for gaining weight. This isn’t a societal problem either. It’s a medical one, and I’m not attacking that. The people I’m attacking are those that walk (?) into Jack in the Box, order five Double Bacon Heart Cloggers, and then proceed to stuff them in their face while lamenting the fact that they’re fat. It’s not like its tough to eat healthy (healthily?) just about anywhere.

This is one of the major things wrong with Americans today. If you make a poor choice, don’t think it’s the responsibility of the courts or the company you bought the product from to fix it. It’s your fault if you eat poorly, smoke, etc. Don’t sue the tobacco companies (of course cigarettes are addictive… why else would anyone smoke them? And of course they’re bad for you… you’re breathing in smoke… Come on, people, think!) If I had the choice between world peace and world intelligence, I think I’d have to go with the latter. Do you notice how Americans are just about the only people on Earth that don’t seem to get the message that only they are responsible for their actions? It would be absurd to sue Nokia if my phone dropped an important call when I walked into a building, and it would be simply stupid to sue the state if I was driving 90MPH and went off the road and hurt myself. Likewise, only a moron would sue Starbucks if they burned themselves on the coffee. It’s coffee, idiot, it’s supposed to be hot. It doesn’t need a warning on it. My Almond M&M’s bag has a disclaimer on it: may contain nuts. If you need a legal disclaimer like that, you’re nuts.

On an up-note, check out CollegeHumor.com. It’s great, except a few strange banner ads, but those are forgivable. If you click on them, it’s your fault. See above. Especially great are Aaron Karo’s Ruminations and Observational Humor. I should start a periodic thing where I rant about things. But no one would read it because it would be about philosophy and religion and law and I’d point and laugh at stupid people.

SoYouWanna.com is a pretty cool site for learning how to do some different stuff (use Feng Shui, find a good club, speak with an Irish accent). I’m working on the Irish accent one, and I think I’m going to try it out at school with the new people on my floor to see if I can get them to think I’m Irish.

OMG!! J. Lo and Ben called it quits! Who gives a rats ass? I mean, if I were going out with J. Lo and she dumped me after I spent a million on her, I might be perturbed. But the nation shouldn’t care. What’s sad is that they do.

Isn’t it grand to be an American? You don’t have to have your own life, since you can live vicariously through the media and the glitterati. You don’t have to go to the gym becuase, hey, everyone’s fat anyway; it’s society’s fault. And you don’t have to look good because you’re not living your own life. And you can do whatever you want because it’s not your fault if you hurt yourself, it’s Corporate America or the Government’s fault. And your heart disease? It’s not that Big Mac, it’s the dust in the air.

So September 11th must be why I don’t have a girlfriend. Damn the terrorists.

New Mexico doesn’t seem to get it when it comes to punishing lawbreakers. Assault someone and get a tai chi class? Steal a purse and get some tea? What is it with incarceration these days? It costs more to keep someone in lockdown than the median American family makes in a year. Now we’re offering tai chi and tea to criminals? That’s good, becaue without it, the college degrees, cable TV, internet connection, free gym, and library were just plain barbaric. Here’s an idea for you: deprive criminals of cool stuff in prison. I’m all for the dungeon-and-chains thing. I don’t care if it’s cruel and unusual. So is murder. So there. Let’s put some of this money toward helping people that need it. (No, murderers and rapists don’t need college degrees and gyms… do you want someone that brutally killed someone to come out of prison bigger, stronger, and more cunning?) I say get these people hooked on some pitiful computer game, so they’re no longer a menace to society.

I really hope none of my Federal tax money is paying for this study. I’d hate to think that I’m supporting monkeys at computers. Oh wait… did I say Federal tax? Nevermind, it already does. Don’t get me wrong… I’m all for scientific progression. But there are some things that are just plain useless.

It seems that some people just can’t keep it in their pants. Their money, that is. A man had half a million dollars stolen from him. Alright, happens in books and shady eastern european countries, right? But this was in cash. At a strip club. Why is it that lottery winners are almost always people who shouldn’t be allowed to have money anyway? What’s this guy going to do with his millions? Well, he’s donating ten percent to charity. What a nice guy. What’s even better? He’s donating it to churches, like the Church of God. Talk about a noncommittal name. Hey, at least now he can keep his mobile home safe. And he can buy all the Pabst he could ever drink.

It’s good to know that politicians make mistakes too, even if they didn’t actually make them. “It’s my policy to personally sign every document that comes out of my office… unfortunately that didn’t happen in this case”, comments the political guy. Someone needs to either revise their policy, or their practices. Why not make today (the 58th anniversary of us nuking the living hell out of Japan… surprisingly Hallmark hasn’t got a card for this) Screw You, Hirohito day? (or maybe Look At All The Pretty Colors day)

And remember folks, next Monday starts Hussein Week.

It seems like downloading music isn’t as widespread as the RIAA would like us to believe. I’m fairly certain more people smoke than pirate, so why not go after them? They pollute as much as cars.

Notebooks are becoming ever more in vogue as they get more powerful. Which is good. I can’t wait until Apple upgrades the 15″ PowerBook. I’m so there.

Yay Apple.

While it would make for an interestingly progressive campaign, Ferrero USA, distributor of the tasty hazelnut-chocolate spread Nutella didn’t renew their advertising contract with Kobe Bryant. Some slogans that might have ensued: